10 Quick Dating Tips for Girls from Melbourne based dating coach, Chris Manak
Chris is a Melbourne based dating coach, he specialises in helping men pluck the courage, self confidence and find the backbone they need to talk to women, his foundation is teaching men about ‘The Approach’. Subscribe to his monthly email and get an inside peek into the working mind of the modern male bachelor… You won’t be disappointed! Subscribe here
Attitude is everything
I cannot emphasize this enough. Your dating will largely be a reflection of your attitude. Expecting the world to hand you something, being a bitch, being negative, doing the ever so common “All men suck, I’m sick of dating” – none of this is ever going to get you anywhere. You really are creating your own life through your attitude and perspective, and you will continue to find ‘evidence’ of a miserable state of affairs unless you change your outlook. Also, a bad attitude is incredible unattractive to men (or at least, the type of men that you probably want to date – needy negative guys will come like moths to a flame).
Look your best
Yes, men are visual creatures. This doesn’t make us any more superficial than women wanting a financial secure guy. You can be as beautiful on the inside as your yoga teacher demands that you are, but if you’re not looking good on the outside, well, no guy looks across a bar and thinks “I bet she has a nice personality” No, you don’t have to be a 0 sized model, just try to look your best. Every woman has beauty that can be accentuated; it’s about owning it. And definitely try to steer clear of identifying with less than you can be, i.e. “That’s just not me, I wouldn’t wear that kind of thing, I wouldn’t have my hair like that, I’m just not like that” Who you are is malleable, and if you’re not getting what you want, it’s time to explore new things.
Unless you intend on marrying the Australia Post man, I’m sorry, but you need to go out. Yes, men will come into your life, of course, but why not open more doors by putting yourself out there? Go to a bar with a friend, go speed dating, jump on Tinder, join a class – just get out there once or twice a week, anything beats sitting at home watching TV every night. Try to increase your options so that when you do meet a guy that you really like, you’re not coming from a desperate place of not having been on a date in a year. It’s ok to date a lot. If meeting someone who really blows you away means that you need to go on 20 something dates, go for it, and stop your bitching about it.
Learn to love yourself
As cliché as it is, it really is key. You need to learn to love yourself. If you find yourself getting excessively wound up over the opinions and actions of some guy, you need to step back and learn (yes, LEARN) to love yourself. We live in a fast paced world, and ever since we were plonked into primary school at the age of 5, we have been distracted from knowing ourselves. By the time most people reach dating age, they actually have no idea or appreciation of who they really are. How are you supposed to connect with someone if even you don’t like the person you’re hoping they like? The relationship that you cultivate with yourself is the most important one of your life. You need to learn to love yourself, weaknesses and all. Otherwise, you will lose your mind in the dating world. Even if you meet and marry the first guy, without knowing and loving who you really are, you will forever be at the mercy of something or someone else making you feel good. And this is no way to live.
When you sleep with him will not change anything
Women seem to think that if they hold off on sex, a guy will develop feelings for her. No, a guy will wait to sleep with you, and then revert back to what he had intended to do either way, be it stick around of vanish. Take the onus off sex, it is not the deciding factor.
If he is unsure, he likely always will be
If a guy isn’t sure if he wants to be with you, that will likely not change, regardless of your actions or intentions. If you’re with a wishy-washy guy, go about your way. You don’t have to cut ties, but I strongly suggest that you keep other options open. This is in reality the only way that he MIGHT see what he is missing out on. It will certainly not happen by you being at his beck and call, and hoping that by giving more, he will turn around.
Use your eyes
It amazes me how often I see girls going “OMG, he’s cute” and then looking away. Use your eyes! A girl holding eye contact is THE #1 cue for a guy to know that she wants him to say something. Now is not the time to be coy.
Don’t play games
I think in this modern fast paced world, men of reasonable caliber are busy and are over the games. Yes, it’s up to a man to step up and do some pursuing, that’s just how things are, but if you’re making him wait for text replies, making him chase you, being a bit distant, or ‘testing’ him in other ways – a quality guy will very likely just move on. Note that I said a quality guy. Again, a needy chap will likely chase your arse wherever you lead him. But that’s insecurity, not interest. Aim to get to a place where you’re strong enough as you are, strong enough to make the calls as they come. A strong girl needs no games.
Nothing is more disappointing, literally nothing, than when that gorgeous girl at the bar responds really well to you, and when you ask her name – whammo, a punch in the face of stench. This seems prevalent on Friday evenings when a lot of lovely ladies have been sitting on after work drinks for a few hours. Mints. For the love of God, mints.
Be aware of the party girl progression
The bitter truth is that when you’re 22, you can go out and party and drink and smoke and live on as little sleep as you want – and still be beautiful. But that will change come late twenties and by about thirty, you can expect shit skin, a paunch, fucked up moods and depression, resulting from your horrible diet and lifestyle. Learn about food and health. An uneducated girl will peak at 24. An educated healthy girl will continue to peak. This is not to say avoid going out and enjoying yourself, but at very least, be aware of what a packet of cigarettes, cocktails all night, and McDonald’s at 4 AM every weekend will do to you. Believe it or not, men consider this WAY more than you might think. We have a strong ‘potential’ considering ability. We know that the kinda cute girl would look amazing dolled up, we know that the kinda shy girl will be a little minx once she is comfortable, and we know that the hot, drunk, party girl will have an attractiveness lifespan of only a few more years. Knowing that a girl looks after herself is HUGE to guys.
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